How to Approach A Woman – 4 Basic Techniques

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Published: March 31, 2010Posted in: New, Opening

Learning how to approach a woman is something that has been discussed by men since the dawn of time. There are many different schools of thought on just how to approach a woman however I would like to focus on the non-verbal aspect of this skill as I feel most men forget that a first impression can make your life a lot easier.

The Issue

What men say is contradicted by how they look and how they say it. You could be saying something that is confident and attractive but you don’t look confident and attractive.
You look hunched, you’re voice is wavering, your eye contact is either way too intense or totally nonexistent and you’re not dressed like most confident hip guys. In learning how to approach a woman we will try and get you around these issues.

The How

The best thing to do is to tape yourself. I do this with all my students who I am teaching how to approach a woman and record what they say. There are a few key things I judge their success by and I don’t care if they succeed or not because sometimes they can just fluke it. They need to have their game tight so that they can handle the mice and the cheetahs.

I take a head-to-toe approach.

1) Your Voice

You need to be talking to her as if she’s the 100th attractive woman you’ve spoken to today. Easy to say, hard to do particularly when you’re anxious. You need to do at least 3 approaches for practice before you start taking yourself seriously.

The best way not to be nervous with women unfortunately is by exposing yourself to them. It sucks but it’s the only way to get you more complacent with your nerves.

The problem is, is that your voice gives you away. It’s often too fast, stilted or too soft. Either way you’re contradicting the confident things you’re saying if you’re doing one of these things.

2) Your Posture

The boring things your mother used to tell you about standing up straight were right. If only she told you that it could help you get pussy later in life, then I’m sure you’d take it more seriously. Most of us are taller than the women we’re talking to.

This causes us to hunch a bit so we don’t look too over powering. Standing up straight can be intimidating but a hunch makes you look needy, validation seeking and worst of all you just don’t stand like most confident guys do.

The secret on how your posture should be when learning how to approach a woman? Lean back. Chin slightly raised just to keep your head from sticking out from your body like a pigeon.

How far back?

We’ll my general rule is to lean back far enough so that the top of your manhood is touching firm against the inside of your zipper. I don’t mean walk around protruding your love-meat, it’s a subtle thing that is not meant for that but it does get your hips where they need to be to help direct your torso.

3) Your Eyes

Having good eye contact does not mean “do not break eye contact”. Normal people break eye contact by looking to the side and just around in general. Obviously don’t look as if you’re not paying attention but seriously avoid being someone who is basically staring at your woman as you’re talking to her.

You will develop a bad case of what my girlfriend calls “serial-killer-face”. Break eye contact every 20 seconds or so. It will help with your nerves too because looking her dead in the eye can seem quite confrontational if you’re learning how to approach a woman you just met.

4) Be within Touching Distance

One thing that ends an approach quicker than Ellen DeGeneris ends a fish burger is your “zoning”. I discuss all these things in-depth inside the course but in short when learning how to approach a woman you need to be in the “Social zone” which is standing about 0.5m – 1m away from each other.

Often there can be a lull in the conversation and both of you realize that you’re standing about a step further away from each other than real friends would when they talk. This will just reassure to both of you that you simply don’t have the level of rapport friends have, let alone lovers.

It’s just bait for awkwardness and worst of all when you’re stretching over to touch her on the side of shoulder, forearm, hard or even face it looks very unnatural and forces.

Yes this type of touching is appropriate and it is essential for knowing how to approach a woman and keep her attracted to you.

Her physical hard-wires are too potent to neglect and the earlier you start building up your touches from: getting her attention when opening, to using touches for emphasis / gesticulation then to helping bolster your verbal advances and mimic them physically.

All things essential to getting her hot fast and if you can’t do it fast and effectively then every minute more is a greater risk of losing her.

Cheers

T

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