Picking up in Australia is one thing, America is another but Europe and the Middle East have some of the most forthright, macho guys I’ve ever encountered.

I have to admit I feel a little guilty….

I have neglected YOU since I’ve been on my World Tour teaching people in over 16 countries how to Seduce In Seconds using my four simple principles. In case you’re new to the site they pervade every saucy blog post when I technically explain how you how to pick up women in seconds.

So, to make it up to you and also to bitch slap the haters who think “Aussie girls are sluts, of course he can pick them up” I’ve gone and decided to actually prove it to you. The BIGGEST haters are by far the people who can’t stand the fact that if I don’t like the look of a friend of there’s (not sexually, I just mean they look like serious obstacles) I would rather ignore then and get in and out ASAP before they even get the chance to reject me.

You see, I LOVE direct-game -- this is when I go up to women and outright say exactly why I am there whilst being totally unappologetic about wanting to hide the sausage with them. It works because guys rarely do this so it’s counter intuitive but outside of Australia things are different…very different.

Doing workshops in Hungary, Spain, Poland, Israel and Greece made a few things apparent to me -- many cultures around the world are filled with men a lot more direct and macho than those back in my home country of Australia. So going ‘direct’ (e.g. “Stop, hang on a sec, you’re seriously captivating and I need to introduce myself or I think I’ll just go to sleep tonight kicking myself) is something these women hear all the time.

So what’s the alternative?

Well…indirect game (something I hate not because it doesn’t work just because it’s slower for most guys and has a lower success rate for beginners ). The reason is because so many guys fear they’ll be caught using ‘canned’ or pre-prepared material and start tripping balls because they feel dishonest and sleazy hiding this secret: “Does she really know why I am here? Can she see through my lame small talk and realise I’m actually here to pick her up?”.

Direct conversation starters get this awkwardness out of the way quickly and remove your anxiety quickly however you can still get the benefits of direct game without a direct opener. Furthermore, direct openers often seem a bit weird when they’re done with another friend standing there as you’re really obviously leaving her out -- in a group situation (3 or more people) you can just borrow the girl and promise to ‘give her right back in 2 minutes’ and instantly isolate (something I explain in my online course for approaching girls in groups).

But who want’s to wait for the right time to approach -- Seduce In Seconds is all about seeing what you want and taking it quickly and simply. So, in this video I’ve provided even more indepth explainations of what I’m doing and why -- so you can go out and do this today and hopefully never need to read my blog again.

Here I need to instantly differentiate myself from the other 2 guys I saw approach these cuties a few minutes before  but I also didn’t want to beat around the bush at to why I am there. So, I ’stacked’ my openers. I combined a situational opener (to get myself in there) “I’m here to steal your handbag motherfucker” (for counter intuitiveness) with a direct opener for speed and to demonstrate instant confidence “I had to stop I think your friends really cute”. The best part of this though is that the opener is used on the obstacle (her friend) and no friend will EVER want to look like a bitch who would say “No, she’s NOT cute, she’s an animal”.

This way you force what would be an obstacle (the friend) into working for you by giving you social proof -- you get HER permission by talking up her friend and she will never talk them down -- she would rather let you pick up her friend and agree with you that she’s beautiful than looking bitter.

That’s the key to approaching two women (a dynamic which, in my opinion is one of the hardest combinations as the friend can’t just go talk to someone else -- they either stay or they leave you two for some ’special time’ and during day game this happens often as they just pretend to go look in a store or be on their phone.

Also, setting the preconditions for a threesome is a fine art and one I often neglect because there’s just a higher chance you’ll blow out with the one ’sure thing’ than go an pull both of them. This case was a little different and even though I met these Dutch girls in Spain my Netherlands tour combine with my simple seduction process gave me all that I asked for I’ll let you fill in the gaps (I’m a keen gap filler myself).

This video will seriously help you approach women and grasp how a situational opener can be used to avoid looking like all the other overtly sleazy guys who go open direct and do it so badly so often that it ruins it for all of us…until now

The tips are just…well, the tip of the iceberg. To do this easily and confidently check out my 28 Lesson online course -- now with mentoring from me personal in our VIP Members area. These are the only things you will ever need to know about picking up women quickly and simply. Check out the online course HERE

Conversation skills with cold women – Know what to say and achieve conversation confidence

T Picking up French Ice-Queens in Paris on his 2010 World Tour

Having trouble talking to women? T will show you the practical ways to melt even the coldest ice queens with conversation starters that will help you gain conversation confidence when wondering what to say to women.

We already know most of us don’t actually get ‘rejected’ when we try this but we may get the occasional lame duck who refuses to cooperate with you in conversation. We then wonder what we can do to help remedy the situation…

You have two choices:

1) Give up

Say goodbye and move on because you know that the average woman is much easier to pick up than the one who barely says anything. Even though this isn’t a rejection, we often remember these instances AS rejections because we FEEL rejected even though we didn’t get her saying “get lost” (which never happens with this stuff).

2) Change the way you deal with these women.

Don’t play into the facade by talking to them casually and stating the things usually left unsaid. Understand that 95% of people are normal, talkative and open with the right people (even if there’s only 1 in their life).

These people they have such a casual rapport with DO NOT relate to their ‘facade’ or the ‘pretentious demeanor’ they’re putting on just because they’re: at work / with a group of friends / in a bar.

This is not such an unnatural things and if you’re able to understand it within yourself then you will be able to actively empathize with your target and understand exactly how to crack her open.

We all usually are overly polite when we meet new people. We play it safe until we get a better feel for the type of person we’re dealing with. If it’s an old lady friends with your Mother you generally will hold back on the swearing and push / pull. If it’s a happy go lucky 21 year old who’s traveling the world then swearing, flirting and touching are not only appropriate but essential.

It’s called being ‘congruent’ but at Seduce In Seconds we call it being a ’social chameleon’ .

This is one major core concept that you’re getting a look into. I’ve been perfecting this specific concept for 3 years now and only ever taught it to my students in my in-person workshops. I’m considering making it mini-course.

Even though it was obviously born of my 4 core principles of seduction you can consider this just another shortcut / another way to use counter intuitiveness, push / pull, indifference and playfulness.

John asked me a question in regards to the post “Speed and Simplicity With Women- 2,214 word guide”.

The Question

Do you think Counter intuitiveness is a key aspect? Could you approach a girl with something mundane like ‘Hi my name is John’ and still win her over using the 3 other principles?

Yes you can. All the 4 things can be used in addition to your personality to direct it along to get women. At the core of it, each one of these things are important for their own specific reasons. Your situation will dictate how important ‘counter intuitiveness’ would be, for example:

“Hi my name is John” may indeed be counter intuitive if all the other guys who have tried to pick a girl before have used a ‘pick up line’ or a ‘canned opener’ like “Hey settle this argument for me Darling”. You have to remember counter intuitiveness is CONTEXT based. It’s not what YOU think is counter intuitive, it’s what the target will see as counter intuitive.

Of course, you can’t always know what the ‘target’ will see as counter intuitive unless you stalk and watch guys approach her. It usually doesn’t take too much brain power to figure out what it means to be counter intuitive though because don’t forget, we’re all human and most guys think and want to act just like you would. They would do the ‘logical’ thing, which actually isn’t “Hi I’m John” in my experience.

What does the average guy really do?

In my experience most men:

1) Just don’t approach

2) Over compensate for their nervousness and instead come on too hard or simply say something that is received as quite odd or awkward

3) Make a comment in passing to the woman which goes nowhere e.g. “Ooh, that drink looks nice” or “Hows your night going”

So in reality, “Hi I’m John” can often be counter intuitive. But you need to be aware of your context , if everyone is saying “Hi my name is John” because it’s a corporate networking function then it will often pay to stop, observe and think “whats the opposite of ‘hi I’m john’ within reason?”. When I go to corporate functions like Careers fairs or Industry Exhibitions I approach people by “stating the obvious”.

Why?

Because official and proper corporate types never state the obvious, they’re niceties are couched in professionalism and even if you have a big green lettuce leaf stuck in your teeth they won’t bat an eyelid. Me on the other hand, approached a stuffy woman at Sydney’s Motorshow who was trying offload $250,000 Chinese cars to old men.

Motor show pickups are a breeze. Here was one Lexus dealer who I was able to have a play with (check the 'Where's Wally" glasses). It helped her break out of the professional-saleswoman mode and into a fun and flirty vibe. It's a cheap trick and I hate using it but this time I just couldn't help myself as I'm a sucker for good props I happen to find along the way.

Example: from T’s week

Her name was Sarah and she was a Junior Partner at one of the bigger Corporate Litigation firms (in other words, she was VERY official on the face of things) but then she was hired by Lexus to manage their dealerships in the state. Most guys say ” I would never have the balls to do that” but you really don’t need balls if you just remember 1 thing that will stop you from being scared when implementing this / approaching:

Everyone is nice and laid back with someone. She may look official / pretentious or seem dry and uncooperative at first but never forget that each women you approach has a best friend, a boss and usually at least 2 other people in their lives that they enjoy talking to or are have to be nice to. Even though they may appear ‘cold’ it is just a facade because EVERYONE has had can can continue to have a proper conversation.

Always know that under every cold / official / pretentious facade there’s a real person who’s just putting it on.

If you act like you understand and like you see through it “by observing and stating the obvious / the unspoken” then you will break through that falsity and instantly start talking to them in the same casual way the majority of people talk with their closest friends.

Now I’m going to prove to you that all you need is to know how to use these 4 principles and nothing else.

You will see that John’s question came from a place where he’s still thinking about having a step-by-step process e.g. “1 must follow 2 and without them you can’t use 3″. In my eye’s that the wrong way of doing things and it’s practically just like wrote learning a script as it is just as conducive to mental blanks and verbal fumbling.

Think of it more like this: The more you use these 4 principles with women the easier it will be to pick up women fast. Each principles comes with it’s own benefits which, to list them very briefly are:

• Counter Intuitiveness: will differentiate you from all the other guys that woman has ever met. Now you’re someone ‘really special’ who can easily sweep her off her feet. This is most important when opening as it convinces them to give you a chance and cooperate with your advances.
• Push / Pull: this creates attraction. In a literal sense it is ‘teasing’ and ‘complimenting’ respectively. Push someone away too much and you’re an ‘asshole’, pull someone in too much and you’re ‘too needy’. It’s a balance.
• Indifference: Means you act like you have 100 women already. ‘I want you and I’ll be clear about that but I don’t need you’. Not only is this very attractive but more importantly it makes sure you remain composed, unflustered and appearing confident at all times (even if you’re not).
• Playfulness: This is the only principle that won’t determine WHAT you say, it determines HOW you say it. It’s all about delivery and can be used to ‘fine tune’ what you say. E.g. “Fuck off” is an insult but when said playfully (elongated and with a smile) it’s a friendly joust similar to “no way” or “get lost, I don’t believe it!”

Here’s how it went down at the Motor Show with the Lexus  girl in the picture:

T: “Hey you guys look pretty interesting (direct approach) but before I ask you about the new Mazda you need to promise not to give me any more bags or brochures because I’m getting a slipped disc (playfulness / humour) carrying around all this promotional stuff.” (counter intuitive, indifference)

Her: *Laughs* (get her to laugh, it alleviates all tension and awkwardness) No that’s Ok I’ll promise not to, just a business card….

T: *Looking really concerned* How much does that business card weigh? (playfulness)

Her: *Laughs* Not much, I’m sure you can handle it, you’re a strong young man. (notice how ’strong young man’ is not a common thing for a woman you’ve just met to say. When you hear things like this they’re called a woman’s Indicators of Interest, it means you’re getting through and she’s playing along).

T: Trust me I’m not a ’strong young man’ (counter intuitive), don’t let the biceps fool you, deep down there’s a frail old woman just craving prune juice (humour / playfulness).

(If you see good behavior, reward it. She broke through her cold-fascade and opened up by complimenting me. This is a positive thing so I’ll reward her by being playful again which now has set the stage for Flirting.)

Her: *Now laughing very hard* Hahaha, don’t bag the prune juice, it’s the breakfast of champions.

(Notice how she’s still playing along but it’s not longer about her complimenting me or being into me? If  don’t do something soon this will turn into a conversation about prune juice. It’s time to begin flirting and that’s done by first being playful and then bringing in push/pull. )

T: I’m going to be blunt (counter intuitive), which seems like a rarity at these things (stating the obvious) but you are by far the coolest exhibitor in this exhibition (pull). Every-one’s so official and it just makes it so boring, what did you say your name was (start number closing routine)?

(Here I used a more advanced application of the 4 principles called ‘Framing’. It’s counter intuitive as even though I know for a fact this girl is naturally an ice-queen I’m complimenting her and making her feel good about being the opposite of that. Rewarding good behavior but also setting up the right expectations as to how I would like her to act towards me. I know what I want and I say it, that’s also attractive.)

Her: I’m Sarah

T: *I take out my phone and type ’sarah’ in*: ‘Sarah’….I already have a ‘Sarah’ in there, I’m going to put you in as Prune Juice Sarah (push, playfulness).

(she laughs again, she’s having fun so why wouldn’t she give me her number? And she did, as easy as pie, despite having a boyfriend)

Her: I have to say I really shouldn’t be giving my number out to strange men I just meet.

(here the obvious response would be ‘it’s ok you really have nothing to worry about’. I’m going to make that counter intuitive.)

T: You really shouldn’t (counter int), because I am indeed a serial killer (playful) and you’re too cute (pull) to be on the front of a newspaper (push). In fact, I’m going to delete your number right now (indifference).

(I use the 4 principles so often in everything I do that now I rarely have to think, they’re just automatic enough for me to pack 4 of them into a 5 second response)

Her: No, no, no. I’m just kidding, it’s OK, I didn’t meant for you to delete my number. If you’re still here around 5pm I’m free to grab a drink if you want?

“I now see HOW it works but I’m still a little unclear on WHY it worked?”

Ok. So in answer to John’s Q above, the more you use the 4 principles the more women will flock to you. I applied them here and there until my last comment which had all 4 and look at her response.

Some may call it basic reverse psychology but either way I now had Sarah not only begging me to keep her number but also wanting to see me that evening. You see it’s all about using the 4 principles to reward good behaviour and reprimand bad behaviour.

When Sarah originally complimented me I rewarded her with happy things like humor and playful teasing.

When Sarah started to test me (even though it was only slightly) by calling me a “Strange guy” I reprimanded her with a push and indifference. Basically I threatened not to call. It communicated I simply don’t have time to be messed around but I didn’t say “Fuck you, I didn’t want to call you anyhow” I handled it in a calm and composed way, I kept my ‘Frame’ through just remembering to demonstrate indifference.

Finally Counter Intuitiveness was used at the start to differentiate myself and get her to give me a chance after the opener. I also applied where I could at other times (mostly in responding to her comments) to really emphasize the fact that I’m fun, different and not like all the other nervous and awkward sods that poop themselves when they approach the 1 hot women at a corporate event.

That interaction took 1 minute. People say that isn’t enough to build attraction, I say they’re deeply wrong. I couldn’t meet Sarah at 5 (mostly because I met her at 11am and I wasn’t prepared to wait around). I told her this on the phone at 5pm when I called her:

T: Hey sorry Sarah, as cool and as cute as I thought you were I could not wait around the exhibition center until 5pm.

Her: Oh…that’s OK, where are you now?

T: I went home to finish a painting I was restoring (Counter Int: most men don’t paint, I was an artist in a past life so I actually do paint and use it for it to demonstrate my higher value than other men where I can).

Her: Wow you paint? That’s incredible. What kind of art?

(Even though this is a compliment and I want to reward good behaviour now, I already have attraction and want to move into rapport and her seeing me for me, without the techniques. Just know that counter intuitiveness always takes priority when it comes to rapport. It’s all about being down to earth and real. Most guys here would take the compliment and implicitly agree that ‘Yes, I am incredible’ and you’ll just look like all the other confident guys she’s met that are filled with arrogance. Now , through being counter intuitive I’m about to show her that I am not like that, in fact I’m legitimately confident because I don’t have to lie about my abilities. I am not an amazing painter, if I made out otherwise she would come over and see for herself that I’m just a guy who thinks his art is ‘amazing’. It’s better to remain indifferent, you don’t need to sell yourself to her. If  you actually mention your good points and then play down how good they are you will get women and people in general building them back up for you and in effect, selling themselves on how good you are.

T: Trust me, I’m a terrible artist (push, counter int), all I can paint is abstract stuff because if I even tried a portrait it would look like 4th grader with a crayon (indifference).

Her: Oh I’m sure that’s not the case I bet they look great.

T: *taking charge* Ah well I’d invite you over to see them (pull), I only live 10 minutes from the exhibition center and I’m home now but I can understand if that sounds really inappropriate (push, conter int).

(What I’m doing here is sending mixed message, something I talk more about in detail in my online course. I also have learnt from my past failures that inviting a girl you’ve picked up in only 1 minute back to your house is often seen as coming on way too heavy and doesn’t look indifferent at all. Now you are BLATANTLY chasing them, when in reality you want to aim for a balance where she chases you and you then choose when to let her seduce YOU. This may sound ‘crazy’ but in reality this is how it is when most men pick up most women. The woman is the one who’s saying ’slow down’ whilst the guy continually tries to move forward sexually. What we do at Seduce In Seconds is to change that dynamic so you become one of the rare guys that baits the women into chasing him. It’s called being a ‘mother fucking player’ and you can learn it all HERE.

If you enjoyed this article comment on it !

Cheers

T

That’s because it is never about the pick up lines, it’s about understanding what makes a woman think of you (in her mind) as a confident and attractive man. Pick up lines get old and that’s why I’ve put this video here for you that filmed of me picking up and Asian-Australian lady in Sydney’s China Town district.

Savvy, a girl who I met and closed in 1 minute flat. Back in those days it was a new record for me: "The One Minute Mile" I called it because there was a 'mile' of stuff I had to learn and know before I could get any woman's number in 1 minute.

Most guys I know do not approach Asian woman at all because they feel that they’re too different and that there’s a cultural divide. In reality, I think most of them deep down are conscious being seen as racist if they were to say “They probably won’t speak English”. Sometimes I find out this is the reason and I ask these guys why they think that.

They usually are honest enough to just say “most of the Asian’s I know or meet do not have a good understanding of the English language”. So they do not approach because in their minds they will end up having the same kind of conversation they have with the manager of their local Chinese restaurant.

I actually happen to agree with this racist stereotype because 10-20 years ago the majority of Asians I met were new immigrants to Australia. Despite what people may say, I honestly believe that over the past 5 years, since China’s boom, the level of English in China Town is nearly always good enough to hold an effective conversation that isn’t in pigeon English.

I chose China Town because all the Asians I approach outside of China-town are not fresh citizens, they’re Australian born and you just pick up as per usual.

Despite that many people are only interested in picking up within their own culture. I was one of those people for most of my life as my family insisted I stick to ONLY Jewish girls and I did…hence why I was never that successful with women in my youth because I had a very small community to choose my partners from.

Once I hit 16 I realised that this is insane. I started using pick up lines to get girls but they were so cheesy, stupid and obvious that they really could only be used as jokes. Everyone knows everyone if you’re an observant Jewish person in Sydney. Just like any religion, cult or past time it usually has a community aspect to it that can really easily suck you in to other peoples’ dramas as it’s all very incestuous.

So I started approaching black women when I first realised that inter-marriage is crap because no Rabbi, Priest, Parent or Friend could ever convince me that their views should dictate to me who I love and who I don’t. Psychologists, neuroscience, my heart and MOST important my own research and what I have seen proven true consistently will be the only things that sway me. In other words: science, not god and not a man or woman who’s been given authority by an organisation (business, church, cult, etc) or by a friend who’s trying to push their own personal anti-assimilation sentiments into my life because their views are often not things they’re proud to state outright because even though they think it, they may know that saying it sounds racist.

So, here’s a video I filmed 2 years ago now and you can see on screen the bare-bones tips I was working on back in my early days (2 years prior to even being bothered to go out and film what I do). It is by no means out of date, instead all the commentary you see is not very succinct and it’s very technique based.

In other-words, you will have to learn each little trick and remember a heap of things (that’s how I used to do it). Later I researched the commonalities of what makes all these things effective and then later focused on helping guys keep it simple because that way they never run out of things to say. Too much to remember will cause you to ‘blank out’ whilst using a pick up line, being a pick up artist or using any form of social or interpersonal trick or tip.

That’s all they are: tricks and tips. Not real solutions. The real solutions created the tips and tricks you can see that I use in this video when picking up an Asian girl in under 1 minute who was with her DAD! It’s insane…but not really (you’ll be able to do it too just by watching this video…which kills how ‘insane’ it is because it’s just that easy).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5KAcCAi2RQ

It’s as Clear as Day

Someone in a comment recently said that picking up women in the day time is ‘obviously’ easier than at night. It’s an issue I’ve been wanting to talk about now with the public.

Whether you’re picking a woman up in the day or in the night is not a very important consideration (despite contrary belief). It’s really about picking up women in nightclubs and bars vs street pickups. To simplify it even further, it’s about context and social events and clubs see people ‘have their game faces on’ when in the street they are just ‘on their way’ somewhere.

Don’t Let the Sun go Down on Me

(otherwise I loose my lighting)

People see my pick up videos often attribute the speed at which I seduce women to the ‘day’ because most of my public videos are in the day. These videos are not there because day game is easier. Those videos are there because I didn’t have the money to pay a club to let me film in it. Also, the music was just way too loud and Sydney lacks ‘lounge’ type places. Not because they were in the day.

In reality, it was easier because I have much more practice at picking up women off the street (regardless of the time of day) than in clubs. This is only because when I worked in corporate world I used my lunch breaks to setup women for that evening. It just worked for me and I did it more than 5 times and then I realised that it was easier just doing that than continually researching night game (as being a pick up coach was my job during my degrees.

So, my circumstances made day game easier for me and next thing I knew I was a ‘daytime pick up artist’ which was really not accurate. I’m sure if you’re ever tried picking up in the day time you would understand that it’s the same game but you’re playing a different team now. These girls are different because of their contexts, not because of their personalities.

Walking on Sunlight

We are all affected by social proof, some get more easily swayed by it than others. You know the types, the people who fair when Bon Jovi walks past but continues eating whilst 13 year old girls are on the news talking about being sex slaves. Most people just keep eating because it’s 1 in a hundred news stories. You’re complacent with the graphic depictions on TV that you watch every night. Bon Jovi you may meet only once in your life and everyone around you are just dying to meet him and (for some ‘weird reason’) you suddenly faint when he shakes your hand (if you’re a little girl that is).

Come a come a chameleon

It is the context, it changes you. Think of yourself as a social chameleon; you adapt and change to fit your context and your company. Chameleons, when mating, change their colours just as we do when approaching women as just as women do when they get approached (regardless of day, night, bar, street, etc).

Both men and women act differently when they are with their parents, their boss or when they’re trying to be attractive. Most of us try to reject others first because we all hate the idea of someone looking at us like there is something wrong with us. I like to think that if you have thought about whether something is reasonable or not you become a lot less frightened.

This applies to both how women react when approached in the street and mens’ approach anxiety at night. The correlation is that women do not expect to get picked up outside of clubs and most men freeze when in a nightclub because it is so obvious to everyone that he is approaching.

Welcome to the Jungle

Axel Rose of Guns N’ Roses once wrote :
“Welcome to the jungle…You can have anything you want
But you better not take it from me”

Clubs can be very scary an intimidating jungles filled with lurking personalities. It can be quite daunting because most guys start to feel their claim to the more attractive women is mitigated if there’s an alpha male(s) around. The same excuses consistently arise out of guys who are thinking about approaching a woman. “She’s not alone” is a big one because of the perceived humiliation factor but if you’re comfortable with what you’re doing because you feel it is reasonable then they will too. Sincerity, enthusiasm and emotions in general are contagious (e.g. high energy vs low energy guys).

Either ways the usual excuse relates to a fear of being rejected:

There’s so many people around” is the one I’ve heard in nearly every one of my workshops over the past 5 years. This excuse, to me, is simply my students saying “I don’t want to get rejected in public, it will only exacerbate my shame if I get rejected. Help me!”.  On the other hand the majority of good looking women rarely ever get approached by guys who are not shitting themselves deep down even if they are acting like a Silverback Gorilla.

You will not get rejected in a club any more or less than on the street if you’re a guy who has experience. By ‘experience’ I mean guys who just applied any of my 4 core principles at least 3-5 times on a stranger. That’s all it takes to get a good feel for it. Think of it like having 2 driving lessons and you are instantly comfortable and ready to handle a race car. If you want to know more you see the online course here.

It is all about context and to prove it here is a video of me picking up a Belgium girl at night outside Sydney’s ‘Eastern’ nightclub. So this post is not all ‘just theory’ for you hungry hounds I’ve put up some tips in this video that correlate to my previous posts, all of which cover my four core principles of seduction: counter intuitiveness, playfulness, indifference and push/pull.

So day game is not ‘obviously easier’ and you guys should be aware of taking things like that for granted. Just think to yourself, once again:

“It’s not about the day light that makes picking up easier, it’s context and company”.

In my next post I’ll cover the harder women of this world and how to deal with the ice queens and other cold and unresponsive women so sign up to blog notifications here.

Day Time Seductions are Obviously Easier

For now, I want to ask why is it ‘obviously easier’?

It took me 3 years to SUSPECT it was ‘obviously easier’ because the women were unsuspecting of being picked up. Back then I was a huge Sun Tzu aficionado (as I still am) and was caught up on his theory of Suprise and how it gave you a seriously unfair advantage over your enemy. Day game proved to be the battle ground of choice.

Most men believe that picking up women in a bar (or at night generally) is easier because the women actually go there to socialise. They also believe it is more conducive to conversation as the women aren’t on their way somewhere with no time to talk during the working day.

Another one of the innumerable benefits for pick up artists practicing ‘night game’ is that the women get dressed up, put on their game faces and enter the social arena (bar / club / social event). This is how THEY like to play the game (from a position of power because they often feel much better presented (aesthetically) in these contexts which makes them feel more confident and therefore most likely to want to talk to a man.We all feel that to an extent (man, woman or child) in some contexts.

I later proved myself wrong when I entered the corporate world and only had about 15 minutes to spare on my 1 hr lunch break. None of my friends went to clubs and I personally thought they were very superficial places (and I still do). I didn’t feel they were superficial because the people in them were superficial, just because they ACTED in a superficial way. After all, if you spend 2 hours getting ready “I’m making myself better” is usually what you have in mind isn’t it?

I know I think that way about myself when I get ready as do most  of the girls and guys I know. We’re all more similar than you aware of, these things may sound obvious but how often do you really care to think about and notice them in every day life? If you say ‘often’ then great but most people are too caught up in their own life woes to spare the brain energy on things outside of their jobs and family.

Mr Jones and Me

For older guys, day game has an appeal because night game is often very limited and filled with younger women they find it hard to relate to. Despite the common belief it is my experience that most older men do not prefer younger women because of their immaturity and naivety.

Many of my clients are engineers, barristers and IT guys who are pretty worldly, logical and professional and do not have the time to maintain the bullshit that often comes with younger women. They’d rather deal with potential risk of ‘baggage’ in an older women because often, the right guy just helps them move on from their checkered past or defective personality traits. The amount of divorced embittered women that have come to me later forget they ever “thought men were pigs” once they fall in love again (ohh….isn’t that sweet?).

These women are not all bad, in fact most feel so old and unsexy that any male attention is enough to give them a buzz. We under estimate how rarely people actually approach each other during the day. When did you do it last? I bet it was asking for a spare bar stool (or something else you may have considered and ‘approach’).

I won’t take you to the candy shop and you can’t lick the lolly pop!

We also truely over estimate how rarely guys approach in bars too. You see, I used to think guys ALWAYS approached in bars because I always saw groups of girls with guys. Most of them were all friends and arrived together, the others were guys doing 1 of 3 things (get a pen and take notes right now if you haven’t already):

ONE

Thought they were picking up a girl when in fact they were just making ‘comments in passing’ to her like “Nice night, isn’t it?”.

TWO

They doubt whether they really are worthy of this girl and over compensate by trying to reject the women first…even though they’re approaching her. They may tease too hard, insult them or simply be sleazy and disgusting.

These guys are the wankers, assholes and losers in clubs, even if they’re totally cool, confident and popular in other aspects of their lives. They over compensate and often guys who “wrote learn lines” or live and die by canned routines have the propensity to become this type of person. In short…they think they’re being really cool when in fact people can see right through it because despite their best efforts they’re not acting in a way consistent with that of an ‘attractive guy’ in their mind.

THREE

The most common of these three types of guys are the ones that just do not approach women. Many older guys have written to me expressing their disdain for seduction methods / techniques that simply would make them feel stupid. They would never be comfortable with saying something they perceive as a cheesy line that will be instantly detected as insincere or as some kind of ploy.

These guys doubt their abilities to such an extent that they often compensate by being really successful in other areas of their lives (e.g. work). They need to put their drive and ambition into things that furnish results and show development (like their careers). Women are just a no-go zone because it reeks of failure, they feel bad and then they cover it up with denial and / or complacency.

All these guys are all present in the night-game arena. All of them are often obviously looking (but trying to look) at the women that are walking by. They’ve been drinking and they’re with their boys all filled with testosterone and all visually ’sampling’ the women. Women know guys look when they get dressed up, the problem is that they feel good about it for a second and then forget it ever happened. Many gorgeous women I’ve known are convinced guys don’t approach them or even look at them but often they have forgotten completely (or their backs were turned).

Enter Sandman

In the night time at bars and clubs there are most sources for external validation than women young and…hot to enjoy. Nearly all three of the aforementioned categories of men mentioned above (aka night-gamers) ogle the women they all collectively as a group decide “are the hottest”. All these guys also have or do compete on “who has the higher standards”. They spend so much time competing on “whether the blond in the mini is hotter than the cougar in the jeans with the tits” that they kill all their opportunities. They never approach because they’ve just asserted (for the past hour) that the “blond is a 10 and the cougar is an 8″.

Either way, it doesn’t matter…they only feel confident enough to approach a 6 (and that’s if they’re friends aren’t around to “see Steve fail with a 6! Ha!”).    Their mates would later tell them “not to take rejections too seriously” but it doesn’t help because you FEEL like a big phony.

These guys often fuck themselves right out of night game rather than right into a woman they’ve just met. Time and time again they can’t approach women because of the loss of face that may occur (particularly if their friends actually do get women and they don’t).

Purple Haze All Through Your Brain

Mental blanks are that black fog that you get in your mind when you really feel you have nothing to say. These usually always come from guys letting a rejection deter them from approaching and ends up being remembered a whole lot worse that it really was. Then you doubt yourself and the excuses come to cover up the honest truth that “I don’t feel I can get her”.

This is why night game is harder for the majority of men: the holes they dig themselves into and the increased pretentiousness of women when they go out. Women (especially ones who are not confident or get approached badly on a regular basis) often feel and act like they have the pick of the litter when they’re looking good, drunk / drugged an out with their friends.

You see, women don’t exactly “approach” because….why should they? To them it’s a common fact that men often just want sex quickly and they will feel cheap and slutty if they “just get fucked by some random”. After all, it’s tradition for the man to approach, it’s the norm world-wide (unless you’re getting married off to a 13 year old in Iran, then it’s all about your family and your dowry. Puke).

….But women at clubs WANT to approach and they do it in their own special ways.

Pretty Woman, Walking Down the Street, The Kind I’d Like to Meet

1) The pretentious ones: Some don a seemingly impenetrable facade of pretentiousness because they feel insecure and want to cover it up. It’s usually because the girl next to her had better breasts (eve3n though she thinks she “has better legs and anicer face”.The seduce in seconds course will give you the tools to pick up women who are like this .

Some of you (sticky beak subscribers of mine who subscribe to my twitter) found out about the post I started writing a year ago on Ice Queens and unresponsive women. If you’re still interested let me know and I’ll start testing it again if you feel it will help.

2) Flirty women: Whether it’s the girl at the pub that talks to anyone or the model at a magazine launch, these girls know how to get their way with men. Many of them simply just TALK to these guys more than other women and somewhere in the back of most guys minds they like that. Something tickles them that they’re being approached for once. These are the women that flirt to gently (or hot and heavily) play their target’s and woo them at will. Despite contrary belief these women often are not bad people, they’re just smart women who know how to use what they have, even if it’s just charisma. You’ll be more likely to see a guy think about this woman whilst he’s in the swing of it than think about some naked blond in a magazine. Why? You know why….because it’s more real (and now we have amateur porn).

3) The oblivious women: For whatever reason it is, some women are just totally oblivious to even the mere fact that you’re of the opposite gender. They are also the women who are taken, lesbian, newly-taken and those with restrictive standards. You know the ones, you’ve probably worked with them. They’re the girls who “don’t date guys from work”. The Girls who “don’t date guys from school” and also those that ” love a hard one in the morning”…(NB: Lost a bet to Jack Coxwell so now I had to write ‘ love a hard one in the morning’ in a post, long story). Either way, they don’t consider you an option and never have.

4) The options: The girl(s) that you actually do have a chance with if you pull it off right. In reality, these women are the ones men (for whatever reason) do not pursue unless they have a game plan and have a good idea of what’s going to happen next. They are just as easy to pick up as all these other types of women that you often find in middle to upper class bars and clubs but men either talk themselves out of approaching. The best part is the vast majority of women in bars and clubs are there for a reason. If they have friends that party hard they will often party hard with them, if they have a boyfriend it doesn’t matter because they like the attention and flirting with the risk. Taken women often lack outlets to use their sexuality to the same effect as they could in their younger / single years.

These are the main four types of women the bars of the world have mostly provided me with.  Type 4 made night game worth while but when you work all day in the 9am-5pm hours (or more) you often are left with your lunch break as the only time you’re active, alert and stimulated from your joke (or even just ‘not tired  and bored when you do it’ will suffice).

One of the many reasons I decided to try ‘day game’ (picking up women during off the street day). I was more awake and stimulated during the day and I was lazy and never motivated enough to get ready and go out at night. It was only in trying day game that did I realize that my all my complicated theories about personality types and  night-time social dynamics (above), are not out-dated, just trumped by the power of surprise that is inherent within day game.

Enter Sandman

You can take women by surprise at night simply by being different to all the other guys that have stumbled up to her. For that you would us apply my four core principles which are mentioned in all my posts. You need to understand though using the four principles at night is the fastest way to pick up women. However the context in which you will be using them will be different so you need to understand that it’s not whether night game is better than day game, it’s whether or know you’re educated in how to approach different situations.

I Did It My Way

There’s always an easier way. And I’m forever on that hunt to find the fastest and most simple ways to seduce. I read Sun Tzu’s Art of War and then applied his learning so I could pick up on my lunch break. I made the solution suit me so that day-game became my forte simply because it’s all I had to work with. That’s why many of my videos are filmed in the day time (and also because of filming rights, sound issues and poor lighting in clubs). Many times we do get lucky though, I’ll update the videos soon, it’s been ages.

Whether it’s meeting women during the day or picking up girls in a bar your preferred choice will surprisingly similar to where you’ve had past successes. In other words, if the last 2 girls you’ve met were picked up off the street in your life is negligible compared to the 4 you’ve picked up through friends then you may consider yourself good “only once you’re their friend”.

The most dangerous thing is that you will forget all of this. It is not as succinct and as simple as it should be learnt. In fact, reading this is probably just overloading your brain with ‘principles’ you will easily forget. All this learning, all this new knowledge you had, will be pushed to the back of your mind by work and…life, and you will forget the obvious:

“It’s about context and company” when it comes to picking up women (and men for that matter ladies).

If he’s with his mates you will often get a cold and macho response ladies. Guys, if she’s just sat there blank as you approached this woman do not be suprised if she is more likely to reject you.

Why do you risk get rejected more at night?

Well, if it’s anything like what I always see, it is usually because her friends have been approached by ‘hotter guys than you’ and she then adopts her friends standards (just like she may out of a Cosmo Magazine too…can’t believe I was in that, puke).This is all assuming you know NOTHING about picking up women. If you’ve read my blog or want to do my online course then picking up women at a bar (at night) will not be a problem, it will be a pleasure.

For now, the best thing you can do is to try to remind yourself of this FACT. It’s not a trick, it’s just a fact. Remember it next time you’re nervous or feel like you’re being talked down to. You’re not a lamb approaching the slaughter, remember that.

Think of yourself more as the Landlord of the Slaughterhouse or even better “the president” as one of my recent Polish  clients told me (weird considering his country’s president just passed away, I think he was just being a little off there).

Be Well.

T

T and Vanessa, a really cute girl who I met whilst at Sydney's Saturday Paddington markets.

I’ve always wanted just to meet a girl and then seemlessly start a date (even if it’s during the day). Many guys often meet girls in clubs and take them home or to a cafe on a Saturday night but as a person who originally hated nightclubs I decided to avoid them all together and get the same results in the day time.

For those of you interested in picking up women during the day or picking up younger women then this is the video for you. I talk a bit too fast because I just had a heap of coffee. I also use a gambit I was testing the ‘into the future’ gambit, which failed a little as I got near to no response from it. Inside the course I’ve updated a perfected version of that technique for those of you interested in using it properly.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mOukhsvVbM

The tips on screen are applications and permutations of the 4 core principles:

1. Counter Intuitiveness
2. Push / Pull (Teasing / Rewarding)
3. Indifference
4. Playfulness

This video is #1 result for real life dating footage on Youtube. Type in ‘pick up artist’, ‘how to kiss a girl’ and ‘how to kiss a woman’ and about 20 more.

I’m pleased to annouce I am now YouTubes #25 Most Subscribed Guru of ALL TIME (Aust)! Crazy.

So, here’s the edited video (6mins):

www.youtube.com/watch?v=odGKz5Bc1Xc

Some of you will remember my dating simulator for an old seduce in seconds course back in 2006. It is back by popular demand 4 years later.

A Night As Jim:

Picking up In A Bar

Dating Simulator

I was trying to figure out the most effective ways to teach guys from home. I had the bright idea to call up 2 ex girlfriends and my girlfriend to come and do the voices.Try number closing a brunette from Australia

I already knew back then that this works world wide as I was starting my first Seduction World tour back in ‘06. A student approached me an offered to partner up, let’s just say that the dating simulator didn’t look as I expected it.

See if you can get out French Blonde into the sack, she may look like a total prostitute (don't ask why) but she's not as easy as she looks.

Back then we were very technique based and I did not appreciate that there was something behind those techniques that made them work. You can use this for a bit of learning and a bit of a laugh.

Go back to the days of indirect game and beating around the bush. Let's see if this English Red Head is happy to see you're Big Ben.

All those techniques in the game still ring true but instead of being the course they are now the practical examples of the four core principles of seduction: counter intuitiveness, push pull, indifference and playfulness.

Click this link to play and back to restart (or the blue triangle at the end ‘Tips’ section.

The Original Seduce In Seconds Dating  SimClick HERE to Play for Free

Failed the game? Click the blue triangle to play as many times as you want, FREE

Rick Click Save As

Speed Follows Simplicity:
Seven Self Interested Reasons to keep it simple with women

Blog Version

Who says speed and simplicity is limited to white women? T's world tour took him to Korea for dating workshops where one Korean girl couldn't hold back.

It’s never been easier to find a solution to a specific dating problem. A technique, a process or even an inner game course, they’re all just a few clicks away. So why restrict yourself when you’re learning how to pickup girls?

You can never remember them all – the techniques and tips and hints and past learning experiences, that is. When you’re looking at a woman who’s undivided attention alone is turning you on because she’s just that hot, well, you often risk having a mental blank because your nervousness short circuits your brain a little. If it’s not a mental blank, it’s mental blanks’ pesky deranged brother ‘Nervousness’ which quite simply often means you talk too much , too fast and are purely content reliant.

Pick Up Lines and Techniques

The lines, processes and hidden camera videos on how to pick up a girl at the gym (for instance) are easy training wheels to get you seeing results fast in a cool way. Try to memorise them all and recall them when you’re over excited or nervous and you’ll see all those two hundred and whatever techniques you’ve learnt are going to be reduced down to one common thought at crunch time:

“Fuck! What am I going to say next? ”

My answer to that is to use a playful tease twice, compliment her once and advance your kino escalation attempts four to five times….

That was a joke (even though it’s not funny enough to laugh at out loud because a part of you may have just got a chubby at the thought that I dropped my ‘next magic bullet / miracle cure/ etc’.  I like to keep two things in mind to make sure that any guy looking for way to pick up girls quickly and simply does it right. I’ve outlined them here in seven self interested reasons to keep it simple with women and not undervalue its significance amongst the hype.

#7 Simplicity = Results = Confidence Fast

Seduce In Second’s 18,000 infield tests over the past 6 years have consistently shown that your confidence will suffer if you learn techniques without ever formulating your own solutions.

Your confidence is impaired from how you learn, not just from what you learn. If you train yourself to remember 300 things and then you get nervous they will inevitably go out the window even if they are a ‘game plan for approach anxiety’. Forget minor fixes, you need a game plan for ‘The Game’.

That game plan does not lie in an approach anxiety fix if you’re nervous (for e.g.) and want to pick up a girl in a club. It lies in simplicity and learning how to apply only a few key things that work across all areas of seduction and human interaction. Everything else is just an example showing you how these core things can be used.

The problem is, these core things are often so vague they can never be implemented practically. That’s why I’ve spent the past 6 years formulating my 4 core principles and testing them worldwide.

They are quite simply:

1. Counter intuitiveness,
2. Playfulness,
3. Push/pull and
4. Indifference.

We film them time and time again to make sure our memories don’t taint what really happened. Stall outs and mental blanks were resolved when I changed the way Seduce In Seconds approached social interaction. Learning only 4 key things that are easy to apply and keep in the forefront of your mind lets you create your solutions and gives you more confidence and faith in your abilities.

Far more importantly your confidence will skyrocket once you stop having mental blanks caused by ‘material anxiety’ (how do I remember and apply what I’ve learnt in a sincere and non-robotic way).

No more mental blanks means it’s easier for you to seem cool, calm collected and indifferent (essential goals). You can think clearly and just apply these 4 core things at will, where they’re needed and even to recover from mistakes. I don’t have room to explain them here but I have guide you’ll soon be able to download showing you way to pick up girls using these four key principles.

#6 People Don’t Doubt You

With Simplicity Comes Sincerity. Thinking too hard about what to do next takes your brain and your sincerity out of any conversation you will have with women. Staying in the moment and not getting lost in a maze of ‘solutions’ which sound like miracle cures  is the way to do it.

The days of having 6 steps to do for approach anxiety, 3 for a good conversation and 3 for getting a kiss are over.  Only 4 core principles are what I believe you need to know how to pick up a girl and be an effective pick up artist (which means speed and efficiency in my eyes).

You’ll get so distracted from thinking about what technique to use and forget that you need to also think about how you’re going to deliver in a way that doesn’t look contrived.

Take note, this also applies to ‘inner’ and ‘natural’ game confidence solutions couched in spiritual rants about ‘deep purpose’ and other things that rarely show consistent results.

I’m not saying these things don’t exist but I’ve never seen any of them work fast and consistently and be filmed and tested. Ultimately many people say my stuff doesn’t work or isn’t real too, argument is good but test it all yourself before you make a decision. If something works, keep it. Or get the right person to teach you.

How about, you just sit there and talk to that hot girl and use these 4 simple things when you get the chance.

How does that sound?

The benefits are obvious when it comes to conversations and confidence when you approach it this way. You’re sincerity and focus on the woman, what she’s saying and your context promotes sincere and interesting conversation.

#5 More Respect

You Will Get More Respect With Women. You will not be looked at like a sleazy guy coming up to a woman for a quick shot at whether he can put himself through her. You will be seen as sincere, confident, laid back and attractive…all of which will make you then feel more attractive once the social proof kicks in and you start to realize that external validation is important to keeping confidence in your life on a short-term day to day basis. Ironically not trying too hard to use these four things will get you laid quicker than if you put in more effort trying to learn, recall and apply a myriad of techniques / lines.

#4 You Get To Be Lazy

Try being lazier, it will actually help.

More mental effort on your behalf will show either through:

• talking too fast
• mental blanks
• Or simply giving replies that show you were thinking about what to say next and not really listening.

My guys who’ve learnt this know we’re a rarity because this is not a different method, it’s a different approach to learning and implementing in a way that means you know how to pick up a girl fast and realistically.

This is all assuming you approach women to begin with. If you don’t approach you will waste more time filling your head and getting information overload which, in effect, will make your approach anxiety worse.

#3 Live Like a Celebrity

Approaching anxiety arises simply out of the fact that you doubt that you can pick that girl for sure and handle everything that comes your way.

Unlike celebrities, some pick up artists have an undying dedication to finding faster and easier ways to pick up women that often sees people think we are celebrities. We become popular in a room of people very fast and people wonder who you are and when they find out you’re nobody they love you even more because you’re a real rarity.

But like celebrities, pick up artists who approach women get complacent with their results and their nerves. Soon they begin to have a ‘celebrity-esque’ impression on people because they’re cool, laid back, popular, respected and all that other stuff. In one word, they show indifference, that what these men do to achieve all of those things…and people buy it time and time again.

What this means is, just like celebrities, simple and speedy pick up artists get so many women that we become complacent with our success. We don’t care if you don’t like what we’re saying to you right now because 95% of the people I do this with love it, so you’re just not for me. It’s easier for us to just go and approach another and number close her in under a minute or take them on an instant date and if you want to see me doing some of this stuff you can in the Videos Section .

Indifference means you don’t care and that is a key to having and demonstrating confidence just like the celebrities, rock stars and other famous people we’re told to envy by Public Relations companies.

They don’t ‘live the rock star lifestyle’ by always thinking about how to seem cool or popular. They simply act in a way counter intuitive to most. The media tells everyone is cool so they get power and attention and…in one word ‘social proof’.

They can do what they like, say what they like and act as they like because people around approve of it and want more or that if you’re by yourself you act in a way consistent with how a celebrity would act like. This also can convince people you’re the king.

We all have stereotypes in our heads and we have an idea of what a confident guy should be like. Act in accordance with it and even if you’re not, people will think you are. They’ll treat you well, you’ll feel validated and your short term confidence will grow and you’ll laugh at how you used to be.

Unfortunately you may get too inside your own head and never get to even approach a woman because you think there’s ‘so much more learning to do first’. In reality, this is just an excuse to bide your time and avoid the possibility of rejection to the extent that you’re a part of the 95% of guys who ever have a proper go and actually learn right and don’t take approaching too seriously so they do it.

#2 Speed

The only test for simplicity is speed. Look at an iPhone, I can do most things quicker on it than on my laptop and more simply. I can take and post hidden camera videos 200x faster than I do on a PC at the touch of a button because I can replicate the same process over and over with lightning speed and little thought.

Seduction should always be the same and the real way to test is through seeing how fast you can replicate it. To do something fast you need definite solutions to a wide range of problems and the four keys to seduction: counter intuitiveness, push/pull, playfulness and indifference have proven to be the fastest 4 principles my guys are using right now as their only ways to pick up girls. We’ve tested them and know they work by seeing how fast a solution can be replicated and with what accuracy. It’s the simple way to sort the nuggets of gold from the nuggets of fake gold in the real world.

#1 You Actually Try

You will like the fast results from simple things you realize how easy it is to do and just like a celebrity or a rock star you just do what you like. Unlike a celebrity or a rock star you know WHY you are the way you are, why people are acting the way they are and can sit back and enjoy knowing this isn’t just lucky or someone’s 15 minutes of fame.

You will do this more. Your confidence will improve. You will be happier.

Simplicity is the key. Less should do more. Too much information and too many long winded solutions are not solutions. They’re problems for the aspiring pick up artist. Always remember:

“Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see”

I talk about all of this and more in a guide I’m working on for guys who want the practical ways to apply these four things and to be able to do crazy things. I’ll talk about how to pickup women without talking, how to pick up women using your tongue from 2 meters away and about validation, confidence and approach anxiety among other things.

Go to Seduce In Seconds and sign up to my newsletter to get this for free when I finish testing a few final more things and getting the hidden camera videos for them. Or you can get my 30 lesson course on how to pick up women fast here.

Got Questions? Post them here! I’ll be happy to answer them when I can or one of my associate instructors will.

Cheers

T

The Issue

What men say is contradicted by how they look and how they say it. You could be saying something that is confident and attractive but you don’t look confident and attractive.
You look hunched, you’re voice is wavering, your eye contact is either way too intense or totally nonexistent and you’re not dressed like most confident hip guys. In learning how to approach a woman we will try and get you around these issues.

The How

The best thing to do is to tape yourself. I do this with all my students who I am teaching how to approach a woman and record what they say. There are a few key things I judge their success by and I don’t care if they succeed or not because sometimes they can just fluke it. They need to have their game tight so that they can handle the mice and the cheetahs.

I take a head-to-toe approach.

1) Your Voice

You need to be talking to her as if she’s the 100th attractive woman you’ve spoken to today. Easy to say, hard to do particularly when you’re anxious. You need to do at least 3 approaches for practice before you start taking yourself seriously.

The best way not to be nervous with women unfortunately is by exposing yourself to them. It sucks but it’s the only way to get you more complacent with your nerves.

The problem is, is that your voice gives you away. It’s often too fast, stilted or too soft. Either way you’re contradicting the confident things you’re saying if you’re doing one of these things.

2) Your Posture

The boring things your mother used to tell you about standing up straight were right. If only she told you that it could help you get pussy later in life, then I’m sure you’d take it more seriously. Most of us are taller than the women we’re talking to.

This causes us to hunch a bit so we don’t look too over powering. Standing up straight can be intimidating but a hunch makes you look needy, validation seeking and worst of all you just don’t stand like most confident guys do.

The secret on how your posture should be when learning how to approach a woman? Lean back. Chin slightly raised just to keep your head from sticking out from your body like a pigeon.

How far back?

We’ll my general rule is to lean back far enough so that the top of your manhood is touching firm against the inside of your zipper. I don’t mean walk around protruding your love-meat, it’s a subtle thing that is not meant for that but it does get your hips where they need to be to help direct your torso.

3) Your Eyes

Having good eye contact does not mean “do not break eye contact”. Normal people break eye contact by looking to the side and just around in general. Obviously don’t look as if you’re not paying attention but seriously avoid being someone who is basically staring at your woman as you’re talking to her.

You will develop a bad case of what my girlfriend calls “serial-killer-face”. Break eye contact every 20 seconds or so. It will help with your nerves too because looking her dead in the eye can seem quite confrontational if you’re learning how to approach a woman you just met.

4) Be within Touching Distance

One thing that ends an approach quicker than Ellen DeGeneris ends a fish burger is your “zoning”. I discuss all these things in-depth inside the course but in short when learning how to approach a woman you need to be in the “Social zone” which is standing about 0.5m – 1m away from each other.

Often there can be a lull in the conversation and both of you realize that you’re standing about a step further away from each other than real friends would when they talk. This will just reassure to both of you that you simply don’t have the level of rapport friends have, let alone lovers.

It’s just bait for awkwardness and worst of all when you’re stretching over to touch her on the side of shoulder, forearm, hard or even face it looks very unnatural and forces.

Yes this type of touching is appropriate and it is essential for knowing how to approach a woman and keep her attracted to you.

Her physical hard-wires are too potent to neglect and the earlier you start building up your touches from: getting her attention when opening, to using touches for emphasis / gesticulation then to helping bolster your verbal advances and mimic them physically.

All things essential to getting her hot fast and if you can’t do it fast and effectively then every minute more is a greater risk of losing her.

Cheers

T